...which seems like exactly the right time to thank everyone who volunteered a photo after reading my last post. You know, I hit publish on that one and then I thought Sian: what a daft idea: why would anyone want you to scrapbook their pictures? I was keeping my fingers crossed that I'd get one reply. As it turns out, I have lots! Thank you. My plan is to work on a little schedule of posts, see what I need and aim to have it finished up for the New Year.Something for after Christmas.
Because we all have plenty going on at the moment; and that brings me to World Kindness Day.
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| Kindness in action: my lovely blog friends won't ever see me stuck for a new knitting pattern, or even some furry liners to keep my feet warm this winter (thank you Julie and Sandie). So I hope I can pass it round a little by knitting socks.. |
Last week, or maybe the week before, I opened an email from notonthehighstreet. I bought lots of gifts there last year. I think they're great; but I wasn't shopping this time, I was simply intrigued to find out that 13th November has been designated World Kindness Day.
I believe in the power of kind. For without kindness, how can there be love? As I was growing up I had a Mum who showed us how it worked; how acts of kindness have in their beginning an understanding of what another person might need, how we had a choice in how we could make someone feel. It was a powerful tool, a good way to offer discipline without even having to raise her voice.
"Would you like it if someone did it to you?" she would say; and I'm sure it's in that thought that the act of kindness begins: to do only what we would have done to ourselves. Would you like it? I'd love to see that posted in every classroom the world over. Wouldn't that be fine? Not a day of kindness; but every day, with kindness.
Oh, I'm no saint. Do I go round spreading sweetness and light wherever I go? Of course not. Just ask the family what happens when I get emergency hungry. But I can try. I have good examples to follow. As a nation, here, we like to help each other out, although I expect the rest of the world sometimes finds that difficult to believe.
I've already, once upon a time on Storytelling Sunday, told the story of the mum who made a point of spending some time with me every night when I was on my own, in hospital, as a little girl. I have no idea if she knew how much her kindness meant to me then; though I've never forgotten it. But I have one more story before I ask you for your own.
Years ago, as a young Mum, I packed my toddler into the car and headed out to do some messages. We squeezed into a tight parking space in the university area of town; and I opened the car boot, pulled out the buggy, and settled a tiny version of The Tall One (no beard, but plenty of mouth) inside. Then I turned round to close the boot. But it wouldn't shut, wouldn't stay down, no matter how much I slammed it, how many times I tried. Which left me with a dilemma. I couldn't just walk away and leave it:pretend I hadn't left my car open to the world and hope for the best. But I couldn't just get back in and drive home again with the boot lid flapping open either. We were, I told the small boy who was happily chewing on his mitten, between a rock and a hard place. I stood there, perplexed, hoping for a miracle, when suddenly I heard one right behind me.
Do you need a hand? the miracle said, and he reached up to look at the lock. He was an engineering student, he told me; and he had been sitting in his window studying when he had spotted that I was in trouble.
I didn't want to see you stuck he said, and with that the boot lid closed.
I didn't want to see you stuck. That's kindness. That's what it's about. That lad probably has a family of his own by now. He'll have forgotten all about the day he helped a young mum out of a very sticky spot. Or maybe not. I suspect he's the kind of person who is still offering a hand wherever he can. Here's to a world full of them! Now, tell me a story of your own for World Kindness Day.
23 comments:
It's been my experience that most people will choose kindness when given the opportunity. I have been rescued many times throughout the years. And I'm not ashamed to say that some of those times I took advantage of acting helpless to enlist said kindness! But I also am more than willing to help another in need. However, when I recall a few of those, it seems they aren't fit for repeating---much less publishing. Let's just say I've helped people with numerous "nasty" jobs!! The sort of things that 4th grade boys would find hilarious!!
What a lovely post! Lots to think on here ... I'd also like to think that young engineering student remembers that day as well as you. Someone told me recently that I was kind and I was unbelievably chuffed!
PS: Can't believe you ever thought no-one would want to join in ....
Another lovely post. It had me thinking - am I a nice person - do I do kind things?? At first I didnt think I was/did - just generally got on with life - but as I though there was the time I let an elderly chap buying a bunch on roses to queue jump, or the time in a shoe shop where there is a ride that you needed to put a coin in for it to work and a young(er)lol mum didnt have the right change so I gave her it for her toddler to have a go therefore meltdown averted - at first she wouldnt take it as she didnt have the money to swap for the coin - but it really wasnt necessary and I didnt want the change - it was just to help her out, she did take it in the end. Do they count???
What a lovely story. The kindness of strangers is something I have been lucky enough to receive and I like to think I've done my bit in paying that forward over the years.
Lovely. I enjoyed reading this post. I did a lot of head nodding in agreement but mostly it made me cry, yep the ugly cry. I like your thought about not a kindness day, but kindness every day. It usually only takes a moment, cost nothing & pays in huge dividends. Sian, you know how to perfectly make the point.
How wonderful that the young man made a point to come out & help you. So many little kindnesses add up, even if the giver doesn't realize how his/her actions add to the total. There was an "older" lady in one of my college classes who took fabulously detailed lecture notes & she shared them with me several times during a rather tough semester in my life. I'll never forget her willingness to help me out.
There's you thinking no one would want to take you up on your offer and there's me thinking, 'no I won't offer because she's going to be inundated'! If you're still looking for photos let me know!
I like to think that the universe rewards kind people and that kindness to others brings others to be kind to you. I remember once giving someone 20p as they didn't have enough money for the car park machine. You'd have thought I'd given them a fortune and they couldn't believe that I didn't want paying back. But it doesn't have to be a 'thing' that you give does it? It can be an action, as your kind man with the boot lid showed. If I ever see a stressed mum struggling with a toddler in full tantrum mode I always give a smile and a comment that we've all has gone through that stage at some time. You can almost see their embarrassment melt away when they realise they aren't being judged on their child's bad behaviour! When I lost my dad very suddenly when my daughter was tiny I was blown away by the kindness of others who just seemed to turn up and know exactly when I needed support or offer to have her over for a play date so I could have some time alone.
A very timely post for me to read. Last night we witnessed the other side of kindness. We were at a pita restaurant eating our dinner and witnessing a customer freaking out that lettuce was put on her wrap. She went full on cranky in about one second. She read out the menu in a loud and nasty voice to prove there was no lettuce. In the end she was wrong and realized that all wraps automatically come with lettuce. It really bothered me to see someone treat another person so badly. Rob looked at me and said that people speak to other like that every day and it is good that I stay home with agreeable dogs because dogs are better than people. LOL The lady who was being treated so badly is the nicest lady. She always has a warm smile, remembers our orders and we always make a point of thanking her and waving goodbye to her in the back spot where she is preparing food. I hope the kind people make up for the cranky people. Does it ever really balance it out though? On a lighter note, I get cranky when I need sleep. I have been sent to bed as an adult. Just like we do the child who has hit the point of no return and doesn't realize they need sleep. ha ha
I actually think most people are intrinsically kind - some just get too self absorbed to remember. When I have a full trolley I always let people with just a few bits 'queue jump' whilst I am unloading - i am often still unloading when they are paying so it hasn't affected me at all. Like Debs I also try to smile and make supporting comments to parents with a child having a tantrum.
As a young woman I was driving home at night when my car exhaust fell off. This was pre-mobiles and I was in the middle of nowhere (of course). Almost immediately a very kind gentleman stopped and climbed under my car to tie the exhaust up so that I could finish my journey. He said he wouldn't have stopped if his wife had not been in the car because he wouldn't have wanted to scare me - being stuck on my own would have been much scarier! And to this day I am grateful that his wife WAS there.
Aaaah...you see, I got stuck at the kindness leads to love....cos I was thinking, isn't it t'other way round? Can you be kind without love in your heart? How? See....semantics. Is kindness love in action? Or an element of love itself? Sorry....still stuck there. I think the kindest action I had was as a single [very, VERY poor] Mum, when someone I knew must have gotten in touch with the Salvation Army & they came around with some presents for my boys one Christmas. That was pretty amazing.... love in action, surely???
My heart is warmed by your post :). And I am a firm believer than one can always be kind and do kind things, even if that's not how one might be feeling inside. I always remember the kindness of an elderly couple who - when my train went right through my stop one night as a student (I hadn't realised it wasn't going to) and it was the last train of the night - took me home with them, gave me a bed for the night, abreakfast the next morning, and took me back to the station ...
I was driving out of school after picking the girls up and a lad came running towards the car. He had taken a short cut out to stop me and tell me I had a flat tyre. While I was pondering what to he had the spare out and the wheel changed in no time. He made sure I knew I knew not to drive too fast on the temporary wheel. His kindness and efficiency was quite touching.
You may recall my OLW last year was "kindness" and I definitely made it an even bigger part of my life than it had been. I've been on both the receiving and giving ends of kindness - and some of the kindest people I know are in my group of blog friends!
My kindness story - I was 18 years old, traveling alone between San Francisco, CA and Elmira, NY. I had a plane change in New York City. What the ticket failed to spell out was that I landed at LaGuardia and had to take a shuttle to JFK for my connecting flight. And all the shuttles were running late. After over an hour of waiting for a shuttle, I finally got to JFK only to miss my connecting flight. I was all alone in the big city and no flights home until the next morning. I was freaking out. So I called the only person I knew who lived in New York City - someone who was literally a friend of a friend who I hadn't seen in a few years, but whose family had known me as a very young child. How I managed to find the right "Goldberg" family in the phone book (this was WAY before cell phones) in the big city is still a mystery to me. Well, they picked me up at the airport, fed me dinner and put me up overnight, and paid for my cab back to the airport the next morning. I've never forgotten.
we too were brought up with the idea that you should 'do as you would be done by' and that you treat others well without any idea of a debt.
When I was a poor doctoral student my supervisor regularly took me and my fellow doctoral students out for a nice meal and chat with the explanation that his supervisor had done the same for him and he expected us to do the same when we could afford to do so - I did and told the story and know that some of those students who are now academics di it for their students.
What a sad scenario we have woken up to this morning on what was World Kindness Day. My thoughts are with all those touched by the tragic terrorism in Paris.
World kindness day - what a wonderful idea. There are so many little things that spring to mind as well as some of the major stories others have posted. Letting someone know their brake lights gone, opening doors for people, giving back the £10 the lady dropped in the queue in front of me and making lemon drizzle cake for my colleagues. I've done all these things this week and they all seemed the right thing to do. All done with kindness in mind :)
Almost tipped me over the edge ... such a lovely post Sian. Kindness is everything - it's amazing how it makes the giver AND receiver feel good about the world/themselves. Although obviously right now I can't think of a good tale to pass on to you!
Oh ... how about the time I supported a student on a summer school course a few years back. He had mental health issues/personality disorder and did so well just to attend. On the last day he gave me a bag of chocolate buttons as a thank you. Something so simple ... and I've never forgotten the impact it had on me.
You're gearing up for another storytelling feature here ... ;-)
It sort of seems rather ironic that today is World Kindness Day....but I do believe that kindness is the default position of most people.
Oh Sian this is perfect. Kindness came this week from my Teaching Assistant who offered to sort out all my resources for the lesson, gave me so much encouragement and then let me hug it out with her. Kindness is such a beautiful thing.
I'm glad the sock pattern arrived Sian, I hope it is useful to you. You are so right, acts of kindness are so simple to give but can be powerful to receive. I remember I left work late at night after a long shift and my car just suddenly died. A lovely young man pulled up behind me. It was in the days before I had a mobile but he had one and he called my husband for me and also the AA. It turned out my battery had died. Next day I learnt he was the son of a work colleague. I'd have been very proud if he'd been mine.
A lovely post Sian and it's good that your mum passed on her good example. If only more parents would do the same. But I try and remind myself that there are more good people on this earth than bad. xx
Seems crazy that world kindness day was on the 13th when something so awful happened. But hearing some of the stories, maybe it's prof just how many more kinder people there are, than not xxx
What a wonderful post Sian - something we really needed this weekend. My mother raised my sister & I to always remember the Golden Rule - to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
My kindness story involves one of those winter days that people think we have all the time. :) My car was trapped in the underground parking of my apartment building when the heating for the ramp gave out and it became a sheet of ice leaving me to walk out to the main road to catch the bus. One little problem - the bus stop nearest work was still a good 3/4 mile from work and I had to walk down it straight into the blizzard coming off the lake. As I came into sight of the guard shack I could see one of the guards running out to their truck to come and pick me up and drive me the rest of the way down to the office building once he'd closed the gate. The warmth of that truck felt wonderful and I never forgot him for that.
A great post and a lovely story. I try to do a kindness to a stranger every day, selfishly it makes me feel amazingly good to help someone else. Just today I was getting on a train and there was a young mum with a pushchair. Lots of us were getting on the train but I stopped to ask her if she needed help, she told me she was fine and I stood back to let her board, on the train she kept thanking me for asking and she was so grateful that I realised, sadly, that nobody had probably asked if she needed assistance before.
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