Thursday, 4 November 2010

Death On A Bench

It was teatime yesterday when The Small One decided she needed to pack her Games Kit. That was for dramatic effect, of course. But I didn't really mind because it took the heat off my dodgy lasagne.

I've got a lot of sympathy for her actually. I never liked Games either. I watched her wrestle her hockey stick to the ground and force it into its hold-all. It put up a good fight. She shot a glance at the kitchen wall with its photo of her Dad in his rugby playing prime (I do that too, sometimes, but not for the same reasons. Obviously. That's him, jumping at Number 4 in the lineout, with his hand on the ball).


"You don't understand, it's going to rain and.."

Before I could open my mouth to say something bracing, The Tall One crashed through the door:

"Don't listen to a word she says, he said, gesturing at me, I caught her maligning my bowling on her blog the other day. What does she (that's me, his dear mother) know about sport anyway?"

"I do too know stuff about sport", I said, disguising decorating the lasagne with some artfully placed lettuce. "I know I don't like getting cold or wet or standing about outside or -"

"See, she's right about some things, said The Small One. The worst bit is when they call you a "substitute" and make you sit on the side. Do you know what that is? That's Death On A Bench."

And she kicked her hockey stick under the table and sat down to eat.



Today I'm Loving...Inspire's new Christmas issue of Inspired Ideas magazine. You can read it here.

20 comments:

alexa said...

I'm so with you and The Small One on this, and love her comment - another writer in the making. Though clearly already well on the way if she has her own blog. By the time I was fourteen I had worked out how to have a legitimate after-school activity every day so that there was no way I could be coerced into games involving balls, sticks and dollops of mud, or long periods of cold and wet immobility. That's for rocks on seashore, was my mantra!

alexa said...

Sorry, just re-read your post and realised it was YOUR blog The Tall One was talking about. Apologies ...

Amy said...

I was the sporty type at school so it is hard for me to imagine not enjoying the whole process - I would agree about Death On A Bench though ... surely the teachers rotate them all? Are all the 'games' compulsory? Perhaps she could choose gymnastics or something that wasn't a team sport .. what about squash, tennis?

Amanda said...

The Small One's comments never fail to make me smile. I was in the school hockey and netball team so I always looked forward to the winter terms games, but I was particularly good at getting out of cross country running. Being a small one myself I was never fond of summer sports, all those hurdles, long jump..... with the exception of tennis much more fun.

JO SOWERBY said...

oh my i can just see the LO coming out of this conversation. it's nearly as bad as trying to get my friend luke to recall anything useful from his 21st bday celebrations, so far the conversation has revolved around his not making sausage sandwiches the following morning and some very dubious discussions about pulling,
Jo xxxx

Cheri said...

I have one who would heartily agree with the Small One's assessment of death on a bench. Rachel hates games when she gets very little playing time. Always puts her in a foul mood.

Ruth said...

Poor The Small One! I was absolutely dradful at hockey, even though I so wanted wanted to be good at it! The kind of post that made me laugh out loud!

laurie b said...

i loved that peak into your family conversations! i remember, at some point when i was young, the fun went out of sports and it was all about competition. that's when i "put away the hockey stick" so to speak.

Rachel B said...

I love the small ones comment, that's so funny! :)

debs14 said...

My idea of PE heaven would be to be a substitute on a bench for the whole hockey game! I do love the banter between your two, it always makes me chuckle!

scrappyjacky said...

I loathed sports at school....and am completely with TSO.

scrapchick said...

I liked sports but I also liked what I liked and gym class does not allow for what only you like, lol - so I can empathize. Nice story - you have such a way with words!

humel said...

Poor The Small One! I'm far from being a PE fan myself, and don't like teaching it either! But I have to say, being sub would suit me too - especially if I can sit next to Deb ;-)

Tinkertaylor said...

I'm another loather of games, all that getting changed in freezing cold changing rooms only to run (walk slowly in my case) out onto a frozen pitch yuk! Much prefer sitting in front of the telly watching the rugby

Louise said...

lol!! awww bless!! fab story x

Sandra said...

Thank you for your insight into your family life, its so enjoyable, and the link .... PERFECT.

Maria Ontiveros said...

I wish I did more sports in school; they weren't really available to girls when I was in school.

Liberty :) said...

great bit of writing Sian!!

Alana said...

Ahhh! Those were the days....hacking the opposition on the ankle with your hocky stick...sigh! Now don't get me started on Netball....worst game ever...and cross country, oh the shame of running aound the streets (Yes in those days we did) and running past the bus stop!!! right near the end so you was puffing and red faced (or walking).

Lizzie said...

I sympathise. I was no good at stuff like hockey and team sports. I got on better with tennis and could swim for miles (at a sedate pace - no good at races) & dive 8ft to retrieve a brick from the bottom of the pool... But Hockey... Brrr!!! AND we had no trousers or long-sleeved tops for sports in winter time. It was still tiny short skirts (or those culotte-shorts) and skimpy aertex t-shirts.... I have reynauds and it was torture! Half an hour of ambling aimlessly up and down the edge of the pitch (because I was no good, I was always put on the wing, where I couldn't do much harm)... then the Agony of thawing frozen hands and feet. And being in trouble, for arriving late to the next lesson. I HATED Hockey!
Couldn't TSO do another sport instead? I suppose they all do the same though. At least, once we reached 5th Form, we had several options for sports - I learned to play table-tennis and had a go at trampolining - loved that! And it was Indoors, out of the freezing cold and frost - yay!
It's no wonder so many girls give up sport as soon as they have the chance... we're not all Team Game Whizzes.
Never mind TSO, try some other stuff when you get the chance - you may find Your Sport yet!

(I loved the comment about you "maligning" TTO's bowling skills! Now you know he Reads your blog, so you'd better be careful!)

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